after last weeks 'short cut' i had it in my mind to go and run the full monty this sunday.
throughout saturday night the heavens kept pouring and i lay in my bed thinking 'no way am i running the route in this'. but as i awoke at around 0430 there was silence outside and my cue to get up and get ready for our little trip out.
we started from peak forest at around 0700 and were lucky not to bump into anybody at all until we were on the summit of Winhill. our run to that point had been beautiful. just me, my sidekick, a few sheep and cattle, and a wonderous landscape. running up high along ridges really inspires me and this is a great area for just that.
this time as well, the sun came and went but most importantly, the previous days downpours meant that charlie was plentiful in hydration.
from winhill we dropped down to ladybower giving the pooch the chance to douse himself in the reservior. a bit of climb out of the valley and we were on our return leg.
arriving in edale i only had one thing on my mind..a bit of tucker. the local cafe , 'Coopers', dutifully obliged with a splendid bacon sandwich for us both washed down with a tea for me. but now then...what's all this about...it was meant to be a run not a bleedin' picnic!!
and herein lies the rub of this post. for whatever reason(s) i was starting to not enjoy our trip out and all my demons were coming to the fore...
..my 'catholic' guilt about how selfish this pastime of ultrarunning is
..my feelings that it has been feeling harder recently, but as an old schoolteacher used to say ' who said it was going to be easy donaghue!'
..a feeling that maybe just maybe i can't be arsed anymore..a sin in itself!!
..or maybe i've gone as far as i'm going to go and maybe its time for a fresh chalenge
..and finally, i have enough pressures without running being another of them
so what's to become of all this? today was supposed to be a great day out..parts of it were, but parts of it weren't. i just don't know. this year has been more of a stop stop year than anything else.
but part of me feels abundantly grateful for being able to just do this kind of thing. i'm just not sure which side of my psyche will rule the day.
all suggestions welcome !
5 comments:
Hi uc. Sorry to hear you feel this way. The only thought I can offer is this: Try something different. By that I mean... currently you're up at 0500 for long solitary runs (Charlie excepted). What about a period of shorter runs in company? Rediscover the companionship of non-competitive running. That way you won't feel so guilty about the essential selfishness of it all. Just a thought, rather inadequately expressed. Hope to see you back out soon.
one answer is to get quicker-less time away from family ;)
hayfella might have a point. in some ways i've been having similar feelings recently. but for the past 2 weeks i've not taken a watch/measuring devise on any run/bike. just purely going out for fun and trying to do it with others has really helped.
maybe it's time to take a little break from the long stuff, don't worry about training miles, just get out when you fancy and start to love it again.
Hi UC, hope you're feeling better? I agree with H & K - maybe you need to do some different things to reignite your passion again? Bit like love; it might just be that you need to revisit what you enjoy most and have some fun again for a bit.
The selfish bit is a tricky one - not sure how much time you spend out training. My personal justifications are the effect it has on my well being - I'm a nicer & happier person to be around after my run!
Take care & best wishes, RB.
Agree with previous comments - go for variety! And since you like ridges, maybe stick to shorter runs up high for a while? (logistics permitting)
thanks for your very constructive comments everyone!
Post a Comment